End of First Sesshin: A Samadhi Poem
White radish thighs root spine
in the stillness of mountain feet
ribs the trellis for a loose belly
connecting earth and sky
above is ox-back, ancestral need
for pulling a plow, vestigial strength
phantom whip ache
there is no use for whip on flesh
already churned with pain
no need to cut the eyelids to remember this joy
I will sleep when I sleep
eat when I eat
love when and if I can
the heart as sensitive as butterfly wings
there is no more body, all gone…
the karma of bruise and phlegm gone
rotten milk teeth falling out gone
sockets of blood in the jaw gone
pelvic tug of war at moon-time gone
childbirth gone
hips that open and close
like the sun coming out from behind clouds
& hiding again according to the winds gone!
Unstrung woman puppet
wild mare of the suburbs
many have tried to saddle and ride me
truly no rider has successfully dared…
Today I freely bent my head
I bent my head wanting freedom
knowing order will iterate
a fractal sutra from this moment of assent
this moment is both the Seed of the Universe
and the Universe itself
shaping a life’s discipline with trustworthy hands
two ears one trembling mouth
the bit of my own making
this bit forged in the fires of rich experience
it fits perfectly in me
sweet and enduring the taste of metal
this first taste of freedom
I take this dharma with great humility
as the fruit of patience and enormous courage
especially I recognize the longing to gallop
there is a longing to gallop
above there are also stars
by Skye Jigen Lavin