Member Profile

Brian Fugan Graham has been practicing at ZLMC for the past ten years.  He was born in Joliet, IL and has lived in the suburbs of Chicago for most of his life.  Brian went to college in Wisconsin and is an Occupational Therapist at the Jesse Brown VA Medical Center.

Brian remembers the center ten years ago and why he started coming to meditate.

Brian Fugan Graham:  At that time Roshi Robert Joshin Althouse and Sensei June Ryushin Tanoue ran a small Zen center out of their house. 

I had always been interested in world religions and took a few courses in comparative religion in college.  Out of all of the spiritual traditions in the world Buddhism has always appealed to me the most. 

After I graduated college I drifted around aimlessly for a few years before "deciding what to do with my life."  I found the Zen Community of Oak Park early on during this period of my life.  At the time, my life was devoid of a clear purpose; I had moved from the highly structured life of university learning and I was suddenly "free" from the constraints and stresses of higher education.  

I remember thinking at the time that I had looked forward to graduating from college as some sort of liberation, but what I found was the same vague sense of unease and unhappiness I had felt during high school and college.   

I have been with the Zen Center through its various incarnations to this day.

My spiritual practice has changed over the years.  I can't speak for anybody else, but what I "wanted" out of Zen practice has changed over the years also.  

When I first started practicing it was almost exclusively sitting meditation.  At that time I wanted to deal with Zen from a purely experiential point of view and I didn't want Zen to be an analytical, intellectual process.  

About a year into my Zen practice I read my first "official" Zen book, "The Mind of Clover" by Robert Aitken.  A few years into the process I did start to read more about the philosophical and psychological aspects of Buddhism in general.  

Currently the "research" I do into Buddhism is what, for lack of better terminology, could be considered "secular Buddhism."   I, at least, think it is useful to "just sit" in meditation on the one hand, and also study the various teachings of Buddhist figures on the other hand.

What I want to focus on now is attending more Council Circles.  I think many people who are considering becoming involved in Zen, traditional Buddhism or more secular forms of Buddhism don't realize how important communities (sanghas) of fellow practitioners are.  

I think there is an assumption that meditation and mindfulness are lonely practices that draw you deeper into yourself.  This couldn't be further from the truth.  At least in my experience, the full knowledge of how self-absorbed I was directly led me to engage in the "outside world" with more honesty and compassion. 

Bottom line: you don't have to do this alone.