Member Profile

Julie Chisho Kase is a ZLMC Advanced Member who has attended many sesshins (silent meditation retreats). She majored in Environmental Science, minored in Philosophy, and then went back to get a teaching certification in Science for grades 6-12. She's been a substitute teacher for 10 years and also volunteers with the Chicago Wisdom Project. She recently attended the Zen Peacemakers Native American Bearing Witness Retreat. Julie began by telling me about her work as a substitute teacher and what she's passionate about. Julie Chisho Kase: I like treating the students with respect and trying to make things interesting for them. I also try to teach them things that I think might be useful, like meditation. I listen to them, and try to correct them if they say negative things about themselves. I am really good at motivating students to do work. Sometimes I am the only white person around in a school. My passion for the past couple years has been mindfulness. And Zen. I also like soft-serve ice cream from Karyn's Raw and jumping into Lake Michigan off the cement wall with the ladders. Sometimes I go in with my jogging clothes. The colors of the water are lush on my eyeballs. Lake Michigan to me is a being, like a very very old being who has seen it all. Ancient. I feel like an obnoxious puppy compared to that lake. June Ryushin Tanoue: What is your spiritual practice? Julie: Lately my spiritual practice has been "don't give up". Like to keep trying. Keep doing things. Simple things like cleaning my room or some obvious thing that would help someone. I haven't been sitting that much. Normally I try to sit an hour or so a day. Sometimes focusing on counting my breathing, sometimes body sensations, or koans. In general I would like to have a spiritual practice of doing good. I would like to do good for others. I'm still working on that. So far, I have a superstitious fear about anger. I try to stop moving around if I get angry and wait until it changes before doing anything else like walking or making a decision. I would like to keep studying Zen and become an amazing warrior of good. June: What drew you to ZLMC and how has it helped? Julie: I was drawn to ZLMC for many reasons. First, I heard Robert (Roshi) on the radio. He was making sense. He was talking about politics in a very clear way that I liked, so I wrote down the name of the center and put it on my cork board. I ended up going a few months later for help with my throat. I had been getting tightening sensations in my throat when I would meditate. I took the Primer class which was really great and started Zen therapy for my throat. My throat was not the only problem. I was having trouble in my life in many ways. I had just survived a sexual assault at age 30, which left me with PTSD and suddenly living with my parents, unable to work. My life at my parents house became intolerable. I tried Non-Violent Communication that we had just learned at ZLMC and also studied verbal abuse. I went to a few family therapy sessions with a therapist to try to explain verbal abuse to my family. It didn't help. Things were so bad that I started living in my car, sleeping on my friend's couches here and there. I was jobless and homeless, exhausted and scared. I felt alienated in many ways. I couldn't relate to my friends anymore. I found a job as a waitress part-time, and had some Zen counseling sessions that were very helpful. Robert's presence gave me great confidence in my ability to face my life. I am drawn to ZLMC because it is full of incredible people that I love. I am blown away by them. They're kind and listen to each other. They have ways of dealing with feelings and situations that seem very clear and safe and sane. Non-Violent Communication seems very clear to me. It opened up a whole new way of making sense of my emotions. Council circles are very valuable. Good ways to share. I am also drawn to Robert and June as people. They have different priorities than some people I've met. They enjoy things and help people. I continued to make improvements in my life, finding work with Chicago Public Schools. I started being a Zen student and took Jukai. After all that, I encountered more chaos and challenges and ended up back at my parents' house, which was one of the scariest places I could think of. Which is where I am now. This time it's different. I know what to do. June has been there the whole time during all of it. A lot of times she has some wisdom to share. She is inspiring in many ways. It is good to have people to look up to. Robert and June have shared food, shelter, Zen practice, wonderful retreats, and more with me. I want to be like them. The Zen Center has helped me to have a lot of courage. It is my real home and my family. It's helped me to try to be of service as much as I can. I know there is more I can learn and do here. It's hard to sum up something so important with words.